The Boob Grab that Changed it All

Let me kick things off by shedding light on a universal truth shared by anyone who's faced cancer or stood by a loved one navigating through it: the initial weeks from discovery to diagnosis and determining a treatment plan are undeniably some of the toughest. It's a period where the weight of the "C" bomb drags on you, and every day not actively combating it feels like an eternity.

Now, let's rewind to a seemingly ordinary day—December 23, 2023. Christmas anticipation filled the air, especially for my spirited 5-year-old, Quinley. I was particularly thrilled because, for once, all my gift-wrapping was done, promising a night of uninterrupted sleep. Little did I know, that night would mark a seismic shift.

As I settled into bed, my overenthusiastic husband attempted an ill-timed aggressive move—one that involved an unfortunately unsexy boob grab. That moment became the catalyst for everything changing.

In the wake of Christmas, I booked an appointment with my OB-GYN, who, mind you, had given me a clean bill of health just three weeks prior during my annual exam (still holding onto a bit of resentment there). The referral to the cancer center came next, revealing the harsh reality of our broken healthcare system, and I quickly learned the importance of fiercely advocating for myself—a role I embraced with determination.

The diagnosis ushered in a wave of unsettling thoughts. Cancer, I’ve discovered, can be relentless in its cruelty, and our minds don't spare us during this period. As a business owner and mother, I grappled with the daunting prospect of managing my health while still shouldering the responsibilities of everything and everyone else. You ask yourself hurtful questions, like,  "Do I deserve this?" Rest assured, despite my tough exterior, I moved past that notion, confident that my life hadn't warranted such a cruel twist of fate.

The initial weeks became a rollercoaster of emotions, with each piece of bad news followed by even bleaker updates. Questions like "Will I witness all the pivotal moments in my children's lives?" loomed. It's a profound impact that continuous waves of difficult news can have, tearing at the fabric of what we thought we knew. Tears flowed freely, but for me, vocalizing and sharing became my lifeline, propelling me toward a place of acceptance.

Mad, sad, feeling the full spectrum of emotions—yes, it's okay. Yet, crucially, I reached a point where I acknowledged my reality: I had cancer, and the only way forward was to fight it. And so, the journey begins…

This blog isn't just a collection of words; it's my live journal, a personal chronicle. It serves a dual purpose—to document this voyage for myself and, surprisingly, to share my innermost thoughts and feelings (coming from someone who despises baring their soul). Ultimately, I hope that by going public, I can extend a lifeline to others grappling with similar battles, assuring them that they aren't alone. So, here we go, my journey unfolds, and I invite you to walk this path with me.